Monday, August 9, 2021

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 Her recovery, even once she’d come home, was arduous at times. She would get frustrated with herself, with her exercises, and even me— if I entered a room too quickly. Beth grew weary of things moving too quickly, of the dark— I bought a nightlight— of people walking in front of our house down the sidewalk. Funnily enough, the people outside made me feel safer, but I shared her fear of the dark.

When we’d lie together in bed I would stare at the black Vaporwave Egirl Eboy Aesthetic Anime Japanese Sad Girl T shirt and I would see the faces of those two codgers, full of rage, of hate. They wanted me dead. They wanted to know why I wasn’t the one in the ground. With a record of sixty, how could they lose to someone like me?

Killing a person— no matter how much they deserved it— has the fucked up side effect of seeing them sometimes where they aren’t.

I was in a Lowes Foods and followed this old guy around for the better part of fifteen minutes; everything from the way he carried himself to his haircut looked the spitting image of John. He eventually spun around, basket in hand, and asked, “Excuse me, can I help you?”

I ran from the store and sat in the car, trying to figure out a way that I could call Beth and tell her that I’d be late because I needed to go to the Aldi instead.

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