I slowly opened Lori’s gift and not feeling good at all. My head started getting dizzy. I opened her gift. It was the Monstrosity Burger shirt style watch I wanted so much, and not a cheap one either. My sister had gone all out for me. I loved it but was feeling very woozy. I looked at her. “What?” She asked with a frown. “isn’t that the right one? That’s the one you wanted wasn’t it?” I then proceeded to throw up all over her gift. Some spray hit the t shirt Lori was wearing and more spray flew onto Tracy’s foot. “Oh my God RJ, are you okay,” yelled Lori. “Not really,” I said having another eruption over Tracy’s feet. She quickly moved back.
(Monstrosity Burger shirt, Hoodie, Sweater, Vneck, Unisex and T-shirt)I grew up in poverty and others helped my family growing up. We don’t make enough ourselves to be extravagant, but we earn enough to be reasonably comfortable and do our best to help others meet the needs of their families. We both enjoy helping others, even if it’s not Christmas. This is a year round thing for us. If we see or hear someone talking about their struggles and we have the ability to help in some way, we do what is within our ability. We’ve both been in situations that even the Monstrosity Burger shirt thought of care or concern was appreciated and gave us hope. We try to do the same for others. Christmas time just makes it easier for us to know who needs help and they let the guards down enough to accept being helped.
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Then came the years when no one but my children received presents and the Monstrosity Burger shirt of receiving gifts from family and friends that I knew I could never reciprocate. Begging people to not spend money on me, explaining the guilt and shame didn’t slow people down one bit. Knowing that many of them, too, could not afford the gifts they were giving. In some ways, there’s no way to end this cycle without offending someone. This has been going on for far too many years and the families had spread out even farther. I catch 48 kinds of hell for even suggesting celebrating on a different day so that we can “relax” and simply enjoy the setting. I have yet to actually celebrate a real Christmas dinner in my own home and I’m going to be 56 this year.
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What I’ve learned happens is I have more experience with White people as friends, teachers, students, supervisors, subordinates, lovers, etc. so I lack the intimidation that Black people, not all but some feel in a White sphere. I’m not blind, though I wear contact lenses, but I’m not off-put by White people. I’m used to it. I’m not intimidated nor frightened, though I do work with my students and Monstrosity Burger shirt s about their own issues of being surrounded by White people. I also work with White teachers and students going into high Black/Latino spaces about being surrounded by non-White students.
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